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Questions to Ask Yourself Before Adopting

A lovely couple outside with their recently adopted child.

Adoption is a beautiful and magical gift. It turns women into mothers and men into fathers.   Other than a natural pregnancy, nothing else can do that. So, it’s truly magical.


Sentiment and poetry aside, if you’re seriously considering adoption, it’s not something you should enter into lightly or on a whim. Bringing a child into your life is a huge decision. It will completely and forever change your life. So you must consider various factors before committing yourself.  


This is in no way meant to deter you. Should you bring a child into your home, they must be extremely wanted, well cared for, and profoundly loved. The child’s well-being and needs are most important.  


Why Exactly at Are You Considering Adoption?  


This answer should be, of course, to bring a child into your life. Maybe you already have a few of your own children and simply want to add another without going through another pregnancy. Perhaps you are unable to conceive. Those are reasonable, but if you’re just trying to save a failing marriage, need something with which to occupy your time, or want something to love you back, you may want to think more about your reasoning.  


Did You Recently Experience a Major Life Event?  


Are you recently divorced or break up with a partner? Did a loved one recently pass away? Lose your job? Suffer a major illness? It’s important to first deal with your feelings about these events before you go ahead with the adoption.


What Type of Adoption Do I Want?


You need to think about absolutely everything when adopting. Think about if you want to adopt them from a foreign country, for example. If there are any scenarios that can possibly make the idea of adopting a child uncomfortable for you, think long and hard about them. Be completely honest with yourself. You don’t want to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation or subject a child to one.  


Will You Be Able to Tell Your Child Their Story?  


Your child may ask questions about their background, especially if they are older or of different ethnicity. It’s important to think about what you will tell them. It’s also important to think about them searching out their background, ethnicity, and even their birth parents. How would it make you feel? How will you react? Such curiosity from them would be completely normal.  

Can You Afford a Child?


Of course, one never has enough money to properly raise a child. It’s good, to make sure you and your family at least have a home and the financial ability to raise an adopted child and adequately provide for them.  


Do Others Support You?


It’s good to have friends and family around for advice, encouragement, assistance, and, of course, babysitting, because you will want an occasional break. Connecting with other adoptive families is one great way to make new and supportive friends.  


Can You Deal with Other People’s Questions and Potentially Negative Comments? 


Other people might ask personal and intrusive questions. Such is mostly because they are simply curious. Some people, however, only look at things with a negative attitude and might make hurtful comments to both you and your family. Posting your plans and progress on social media might also bring out such people.  


Who Must You Also Consider?


How would an adoption affect your spouse and other family members? Are there other children? How will they feel? Perhaps if you included them in the decision making, they’d feel more positive toward the idea.   


Can You Wait Patiently for Your Child to Show You Love?  


A few adopted children, particularly older ones, might have difficulty bonding with and trusting you. Would you be able to handle such a situation and wait for them to finally return your affections? Don’t forget to keep in mind that they are adjusting to their new situation, too.  


Are You Ready to Be Honest with an Agency / Social Worker / Lawyer? 


You will probably have to complete various forms, all of which will most likely require financial and medical records, as well as other personal information.  Will you be able to be completely honest about yourself? Those evaluating such forms aren’t looking for perfection. They’re just looking for honesty.  


Can You Provide a Child a Warm, Steady, and Loving Home?  


This is the most important question. If your relationships are dysfunctional and life at home is filled with constant fighting or tense silence, it’s no place in which to introduce a child. If, however, life at home is steady, calm, warm, and loving, you may very well have the perfect environment.  


Adopting a child can bring both of you a lifetime of love and happiness.    

We understand the adoption process and would be honored to handle your case with experience and the utmost care. Contact our office today to get started. 

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